Jim Kuenzer – Medium

Jim Kuenzer
in
Greener Pastures Magazine

How to Improve Your Chances at Finding Love with the Bagpipes

A classic instrument that’s good for more than just funerals and war

3 min readFeb 14, 2023

--

3

How to Improve Your Chances at Finding Love with the Bagpipes

--

3

Jim Kuenzer

Your Fire Evacuation Plan for Burning Man 2022

The Burning Man Volunteer Fire Department has created this plan in the event of an accidental, unchoreographed, non-transcendant, “normal”…

3 min readAug 26, 2022

--

1

--

1

Jim Kuenzer
in
Slackjaw

Enjoy A Successful Comedy Career By Bulldozing The Chumps In Your Improv Troupe

Don’t let the dead weight of the rest of your improv troupe keep you from fame and fortune!

4 min readJan 16, 2022

--

3

Enjoy A Successful Comedy Career By Bulldozing The Chumps In Your Improv Troupe

--

3

Jim Kuenzer
in
Greener Pastures Magazine

When Can I, a Mere Multimillionaire, Travel to Space, Too?

How can we make space travel available to everyone with millions and millions and dollars

3 min readJul 20, 2021

--

When Can I, a Mere Multimillionaire, Travel to Space, Too?

--

Jim Kuenzer

Your Electoral College F.A.Q.

Is the Electoral College an actual college? Not in the traditional sense with classes, dormitories, and beer-fueled rush weeks. In fact…

4 min readNov 2, 2020

--

Your Electoral College F.A.Q.

--

Jim Kuenzer
in
Slackjaw

We, The Gods Of Rock, Decree Thou Must Knock It Off

Behold, Jim Kuenzer! Put down the Funyuns and juice box you stole from your second-grade daughter, and take heed!

4 min readMay 6, 2020

--

1

We, The Gods Of Rock, Decree Thou Must Knock It Off

--

1

Jim Kuenzer

Deep in the Heart of This Mum, Y’all

Officials with the Colleyville Independent School District in Colleyville, Texas, have issued an Amber Alert for Madison Durban-Pfeiifer…

4 min readSep 10, 2019

--

Deep in the Heart of This Mum, Y’all

--

Jim Kuenzer
in
Slackjaw

How Do I Love You? Let Me, Ross Gillespie, Senior Marketing Analytics Specialist, Count the Ways

Am I gaining traction with you, Donna? For you are gaining traction with me.

3 min readJul 17, 2019

--

2

How Do I Love You? Let Me, Ross Gillespie, Senior Marketing Analytics Specialist, Count the Ways

--

2

Jim Kuenzer

Cosplay Ideas for the 2020 Republican Convention

Lindsey Graham: blue suit, crimson tie

1 min readApr 23, 2019

--

Cosplay Ideas for the 2020 Republican Convention

--

Jim Kuenzer

Jared Kushner’s Notes from a Texas Prison

Welcome to “Many Eggs, One Basket,” where I post stories so topical I only send them to one high profile publication who rejects them well…

3 min readAug 3, 2018

--

--

Jim Kuenzer

Jim Kuenzer

Comedy writer. Master of the forced, awkward and unconvincing pratfall. Author of “Behold! We May Rock You!” available on Amazon. https://amzn.to/2FP6E8K

Following

Help
Status
About
Careers
Blog
Privacy
Terms
Text to speech
Teams